How are you?

How are you?

The responses I hear most frequently are time-based. There are the terribly popular Busy! Crazy! and Crazy Busy! variations. Plus anxious, bored, confused, frustrated or impatient, which speak to time-triggered emotional reactions,

I also hear a fair amount of goodokay or fine, often delivered as formulaic non-answers, with no eye-contact. My sense is that time is again the driver—the person either consciously does not feel they have time to stop and connect or are in the grip of an unconscious and habitual “I’m busy” mode.

Occasionally, the response may be tired or exhausted, and this can be a bit more subtle. That is, I find this answer is usually more about mood than physical state. There may be a sense of lethargy or heaviness, but it’s not the same as the pleasantly spent feeling that comes after, say, a vigorous walk or work out.

One antidote to the modern day sense of time crunch is what we call grounding or centering. This is the state of being aware of being in your body in the present moment, rather than anticipating future events or ruminating over those in the past. You notice the sensations, become aware of the temperature and texture of the air on your skin, the weight and feel of clothes on your body.

I invite you to try it right now, even if it’s just for a moment… Closing your eyes and taking a few deep, slow breaths helps.

For many of our clients, tuning into the body is a revelation. Something lurking under the surface of their consciousness becomes unavoidably obvious in their posture or physical sensations. They’ll frequently say things like “I thought I was doing okay, but now that you point it out, my arms are crossed, my shoulders are tight and tense and… I realize I’m really feeling frustrated and angry.”

Centering can be a challenge in the hurly burly of our days. Developing a gentle, accepting sense of body awareness is a great practice to help you get centered, as well as to re-center after all the inevitable bumps and distractions. The client in the example above was quickly able to work through, and let go of, the anger he was feeling once he became aware of it.

Your body is truly a miraculous thing. It has a great deal to offer you beyond getting you from meeting to meeting or playdate for the kids. To deepen your body awareness, take some time to notice how you carry yourself and move in the world during the course of the day. How do you stand? Sit? Walk? How do you hold your head, chest, shoulders? What range of motion is available to you? Not available? What feels comfortable? Uncomfortable? How do you dance? (Do you dance?)

Play with these questions and see what they reveal to you. What new actions will you take, or conversations will you have, to address what you can now see?

Get to know your body! Treat it well. And give it some thought whenever someone asks…

How are you?

Source: Blog feed

About Us

The WYSIWYG Co. is the coaching partnership of Caroline Sugarman and Aaron Sugarman. We are members of the International Coach Federation (ICF), with more than 40 years of combined coaching and consulting experience.

We work with individuals and organizations, through a mix of one-on-one coaching, workshops and group work that builds leadership and communication skills and improves team performance.

We support our work with assessments that generate insight, highlight strengths and areas for development, and help organizations make better hiring decisions.

Learn More


An occasional digest featuring the best of our blog and curated reading list.

Connect With Us